The Quest

When was the last time you bought a car? Our current car was bought four years ago and it's getting to the stage where bits are conking out, dropping off or bursting outright. The car's not in great shape either.
So, His Nibs and I went to trawl the local car sales rooms for ideas and potential replacements for our car, affectionately known as The Ugly Bug. The propect of a new car was quite exciting.
The first showroom had the obligatory cars tipped up on ramps thing going on - all shiny and buffed. It must be company policy because the sales team were equally shiny and buffed. It was all very Stepford.
We left in search of the unbuffed but hopefully sincere salesman. Is there such a breed?
The next place had only a few of its cars up on ramps and the others were dotted about the car lot, like little cherries ripe for the picking. We ambled about happily until a little, middle aged man appeared out of nowhere [as salesmen do]to ask if we needed anything. We replied we were just browsing for ideas and he withdrew backwards like a character from the King and I. I liked that. We should have more bowing on car lots. Yes, less buffing and more bowing.
Anyway, the little man disappeared and left us to it. Very wise. I hate being hassled to buy something.
Right on cue up pops another salesman. All buffed and shiny. The manager no less. [He must have escaped from the Stepford showroom] He slotted into 'Sell these dozy nitwits something. Anything.' mode right in front of me. Lots of questions oozed from his lips to form a puddle at my feet. He was the living embodiment of sales techniques. His name badge all but throbbed with intent. Yuck. I countered with 'Teacher glare' on full beam. He retreated, muttering something about stats and just in the office if you need me...

Two thirds round the lot we were set upon by a 3rd salesman who might have been the lovechild of Jack Nicholson and Santa Claus. He was freakishly jolly. Lots of wild eyes, wide smiles, and ho ho ho ing going on. When we told him we were just looking he replied 'That's allowed. Look away. No charge for that. In fact, today's so cold we should be paying YOU to look...'

Um, ok, whatever you say mate.

We all but sprinted back to the start whereupon little bowing man reappeared to offer keys, his card and a test drive at our convenience. His colleagues hovered on the horizon like vampire bats.

Things are clearly very slow in the car industry. Loads of car sales locally. We might yet bag a real bargain, if our nerves aren't shot to hell in the process.